Recently, I came across a few articles that talk about what guests do or do not care about at a wedding. We even have friends who expressed (from their experience) what they think does or does not matter in terms of planning. We also have friends who said something along the lines of: “Thank god we’re not planning anything big for our big day as it seems like it’s a lot of work.” Although these opinions are great and all, at the end of the day: Do you really want to live your life based on what people care about? Plus, it’s my wedding, it’s my prerogative.
Let’s set the record straight: Although I agree with most of “What People Give A Shit About…”, I think one undeniable truth is that the wedding day is ultimately for the bride. Sure, one can argue that sometimes the wedding is also for his/her family (especially for those who do not come from Anglo-Saxon cultures), however, I’ve really enjoyed the sense of being able to find the exact items (uh…hello Grace Kelly style wedding gown that’s made in Italy) that makes me happy for the big day.
Before wedding planning began, the fiancé and I asked ourselves: Do we want an inclusive wedding where we include those who matter to us, or do we want to be exclusive, where we only invite our immediate family members and elope? And the answer for both of us was: Let’s be inclusive.
For me, there are a lot of wonderful people in our lives. In particular, I have friends and relatives from all over of the world and I would like to have the wedding to be an occasion to see those we care.
The concept of weddings changes from one culture to another. In some cultures, the bride’s family pays for it all, and the couple publishes a detailed bridal registry for their guests. In other cultures, the groom’s family pays for it all, and all gifts are received in the form of cash. Bridal showers, tea ceremonies, door games, are also a few examples of wedding traditions that may hold value to some but not for others.
But let’s get this straight: Traditions are not rules – and it’s up to the bride and groom (especially those who come from inter-racial or inter-faith relationships) to decide what to include and the values they represent. Who are we to judge what’s important at someone else’s wedding and what’s not – particularly if you don’t understand someone else’s culture?
So yes: I am planning a day that I think my guests will/might enjoy, but most importantly: I am planning a day that will make me happy regardless of what others think. I am planning a day where I feel good about finding all three dresses that makes me look good for that big day. I am planning a day where we are balancing both Eastern and Western traditions. For me, these are accomplishments I value. Even better, the experience I have earned may be helpful for future events. I guess the moral of my rant is: So what if others don’t care?
But then again, ask me again after the wedding. Maybe I’ll have another opinion 😉
When a girl gets engaged, there are about 5 billion things that run through her mind that first week. These thoughts range from “DO I LIKE MY RING?!” to “DO MY FRIENDS LIKE MY RING?!” to “HOW MUCH WAS MY RING?!” to “Oh my God, I FOUND THE RING RECEIPT! SHOULD I LOOK AT IT?!”, etc.After the hype dies down and the planning begins, the feelings of ” I HAVE SO MUCH SHIT TO DO” starts to set in. You gotta book a reception, make sure the reception hall availabilitymatches up with wherever the ceremony is,play phone tag with your priest – which is weird in itself because calling a priest feels weird- start thinking about who is going to be in the bridal party, and how much fat you need expelled from your body effectiveimmediately… aaaaaand then comes all the vendor booking. I did all that…
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